Have you ever felt blindsided by change? Maybe, like Liam, you were passed over for a promotion you felt promised. Or perhaps, like his wife Teresa, you wonder if staying put is the best move. Transitions can be confusing and leave us feeling stuck. But what if I told you this could be a season of exciting possibilities?
Transitions are pivotal times to discover and embrace our true identities and live with greater purpose and fulfillment, even through the uncertainty and ambiguity of change. Get practical strategies and insights to help you respond to identity confusion in our ever-changing lives.
When we dig wells of trust through the seasons - with God and with others - we are storing up a reliable source of relational capital, namely trust. Relational trust is something valuable we can draw from when navigating tough transitions marked by uncertainty.
Transitions bring disruption and upheaval. In transition seasons we may come to a point where we no longer recognize our lives. But what if we could build some intentionality into the process of change? How could it help us stay more grounded, hopeful, and purposeful through the uncertainty of it all?
Have you ever felt blindsided by change? Maybe, like Liam, you were passed over for a promotion you felt promised. Or perhaps, like his wife Teresa, you wonder if staying put is the best move. Transitions can be confusing and leave us feeling stuck. But what if I told you this could be a season of exciting possibilities?
Transitions bring disruption and upheaval. In transition seasons we may come to a point where we no longer recognize our lives. But what if we could build some intentionality into the process of change? How could it help us stay more grounded, hopeful, and purposeful through the uncertainty of it all?
“When can I meet with God?” was a cry of the sons of Korah in Psalm 42. I can guarantee the songwriter wasn’t looking at his watch when he penned those words. He was reflecting on the condition of his soul. How do you sustain the practice of meeting with God while trying to reach both personal and professional goals? The balance between your hopes and dreams and meeting with God is a delicate one. But one thing we know for sure: meeting with God is the source fruitful undertaking. Our life purpose is grounded in relationship. A healthy identity is rooted in it. Yet the struggle is very real.
My personal experience living and working cross-culturally has highlighted this…
My early years in Central Asia were heavy on the objective side. I thought I was fulfilling my purpose by doing things for God. My sense of identity was connected mostly to the work I was doing. My identity somewhat unraveled when I transitioned because the “assignment” was terminated. Or so I thought. Shortly after the transition, I searched for ways to replace the pursuit of purpose through other areas of focus, such as coaching, pastoring, podcasting, and writing. A perceived loss of identity motivated me to pursue and regain a “for God” posture instead of a “with God” posture, something author Skye Jethani talks about in his book With (a good read by the way). I slowly realized this approach is not sustainable.
It doesn’t lead to the abundant life God has saved me for.
Purposeful work is part of our callings, but certainly not the foundation. The bedrock is relationship, embodied in this cry:
“My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?” - Psalms
And so my prayer has become, “Lord may I prioritize meeting with You over and above my assignment for You.”
Skye continues to make his point…
“He (the Apostle Paul) understood that his calling (to be a messenger to the Gentiles) was not the same as his treasure (to be united with Christ). His communion with Christ rooted and preceded his work for him.”
– With, Reimagining the Way you Relate to God, Skye Jethani
Transitions have a way of messing with our sense of identity, purpose and calling. At the same time transition can be a wonderful opportunity to re-orient ourselves to what really matters. Working with a transitions coach can help you process and prioritize toward a successful transition.
Let’s have a conversation!
I leave you with The Message version of Psalm 42:1-3 and some reflection questions…
“A white-tailed deer drinks from the creek; I want to drink God, deep draughts of God. I’m thirsty for God-alive. I wonder, “Will I ever make it— arrive and drink in God’s presence?” I’m on a diet of tears— tears for breakfast, tears for supper. All day long people knock at my door, Pestering, “Where is this God of yours?””
- Psalms 42:1-3
For reflection:
Think of a time when you were extremely parched. How desperate did you feel for a drink? Have you ever felt that desperate for God? Describe the intense longing. Isaac was a well digger (Genesis 26). His survival depended on it wherever he went. If one dried up he dug another.
What are some wells which have dried up for you, and why?
How and where could you dig some new wells in this season of transition…wells that lend themselves to meeting with God?
In our current context there’s a growing need for resilient workers, leaders and organizations. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from difficulty. It requires openness to change. But here’s the issue: We don’t change well on our own.
We may even resist change, digging in our heels and grasping for old certainties that don’t exist any longer. The road of resistance keeps us stuck. But forging a path of resilience can set us free. What does this path look like?
DISRUPTION
In seasons of transition and uncertainty, we need voices on the outside to disrupt our thinking by reflecting our thoughts back to us, challenging us to consider why we think and perceive things the way we do. This is the path of resilience: disruption…reflection….learning….action. And that’s hard to do in isolation, as most of us can testify. Been there. Done that.
My wife knows I’m pretty darn ticklish, and she’ll take advantage of that at times. It doesn’t take much effort on her part to make me squirm. But even as a ticklish individual, I can’t tickle myself. Leadership coach Marcia Reynolds states, “For the same reason we can’t tickle ourselves, our brains resist self- imposed testing of thoughts and reactions.” The catalyst for transformation requires engaging a process of disruption from the outside.
In this transition season, do you find yourself welcoming the disruption, or resisting it?
REFLECTION AND LEARNING
What could opening ourselves up to this process look like? As we allow more space and time to reflect and process the change, we do well to invite outside “disrupters” into our lives who bring the gift of presence, active listening and powerful questioning. When we have the courage to invite disruption, the stories we tell ourselves - our personal narratives – can change. In the process, we begin to learn and grow outside our perceived limits, moving all the while toward greater resilience.
What’s been your personal narrative through this transition season, the story you’ve been telling yourself? Has it been one of resistance or openness? Is it leading to resilience or feelings of stuckness? These personal narratives impact our emotional and spiritual well-being, our relationships and organizational cultures. Engaging a process of disruption, reflection, learning and action lends itself to changing the narrative and creating a culture of personal and professional resilience.
ACTION
The path to resilience…disruption, reflection and learning…combine to create the clarity and momentum necessary for positive Spirit-led action to take place. But the process takes time. The temptation is to leap into action too soon, hoping to avoid the pain and uncertainty by making it to the other side of transition. As a result, the process of learning and growth gets sabotaged. Here are some potential focus areas to consider as you slow down, invite disruption and move toward greater resilience:
Revisiting personal and organizational core values.
Soaking in God’s Word regularly…renewing our minds.
Sorting and sifting ideas and options by engaging in a season of discernment.
Confronting Identity issues and aligning what I do with who I am.
Learning new strategies for consistently showing up and taking action.
Recognizing and removing obstacles to growth and development.
Focus and self-discipline….leading ourselves with greater intentionality.
Prioritizing what matters most and creating strategies to achieve desired outcomes.
Some questions to consider…
Which of the above focus areas could take on a community or organizational approach? Which ones are more personal, individual, and reflective?
Who could you invite into your personal journey toward greater agility as you consider these focus areas? A coach, counselor, spiritual director, mentor, trusted friend?
What path are you on? The one of resilience or resistance?
If you’re finding yourself resisting rather than engaging the process of resilience, I’d love to explore some options with you. Let’s have a conversation. Schedule a discovery call with me or simply send me an email.
I hope to see you on the path of resilience!
Tim
A good practice in volatile and potentially dangerous situations, such as wilderness survival, is to maintain a posture of alertness by consistently doing these three things…
Look up. What’s above you that could be threatening your safety?
Look down. Where are your feet stepping? Is it safe?
Look around. Keep your head on a swivel. Take notice of things around, behind and in front of you.
Hey Friend,
If you didn’t get in on the May 14-16 Realife Retreat at Zephyr Point, Lake Tahoe, you missed a great time. It was only the third weekend that the conference center had been opened for hosting due to COVID restrictions. We were so encouraging to see groups gathering again, having meals and fellowship together on the shores of gorgeous Lake Tahoe.
We are currently in the process of planning the dates for our next Realife Retreat for couples and invividuals. We should have those dates to announce soon, but in the meantime we want to encourage you to get on our waitlist. Space is extremely limited because these are smaller groups of 15-20 individuals.
Hosting and facilitating rest and renewal retreats goes back to our years of supporting and resourcing global workers during the 20 years we lived in in Central Eurasia. We love this part of what God has called us to do. Smack dab in the busyness of life and ministry, Jesus invited his disciples get away with Him into some quiet space and rest. We follow His example by intentionally creating space to reflect, rest and renew in the presence of the One who knows how to care for our souls well. Consider God’s invitation:
“God, my shepherd! I don’t need a thing. You have bedded me down in lush meadows, you find me quiet pools to drink from. True to your word, you let me catch my breath and send me in the right direction.”
Psalm 23:1-3 (The Message)
Our goal with these retreats is to strike a balance between rest, reflection and planning. We unpack what it means to have a modern day rule of life and rhythms to help us lean into all that our Lord has for us ... based on what really matters!
Here’s what some of the folks who attended had to say….
"The Needs and Values assessment starting at the beginning sets the foundation for the motivation and implementation of the Real Life statement and Focus Areas."
- Jeanette
"So much to take away: the Realife view was extremely helpful to create a roadmap for action. The conversations in the group setting were life-giving as well."
- Josh
"My biggest takeaways were:
- I need to use calendars.
- [My wife] and I are really ok.
- Scheduling life is NOT a prison cell."
- Rollin
"If you are seeking help in transitions and finding your path, I highly suggest connecting with Encompass Life Coaching. Amazing process for those seeking something fulfilling."
- Raquel
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As a taste of one of our retreat themes of discernment I want to offer you a free download. Whether you are at a big crossroads or simply in the middle of some decision, my hope is that these Sorting and Sifting Questions will help you get clarity.
Rhythms of life and personal schedules can get disrupted and drift out of alignment, so we need opportunities to reset and realign. This process can benefit each individual as well as each relationship.
Will you join us?
RESERVE YOUR SPOT NOW BY JOINING THE WAITLIST TODAY!
-Tim
Hey Friend and Happy Spring!
This is one of my favorite times of the year. It's a time when things dormant and seemingly lifeless spring up. The plants and flowers were there all along, right beneath the surface. But now, in the fullness of time, their beauty is revealed.
Needs and Values are kind of like that. They're easy to ignore as we speed through life, giving little thought to what lies underneath - those core desires and motivations. Yet if ignored for too long, we lose sight of the WHY.
What’s really important, and why? What am I willing to invest in order to answer that question with confidence and clarity?
Doing the deeper work of discovering our core needs values is one of the first steps toward living with purpose and intentionality. Self-discovery and discernment take some hard work. But the investment is well worth it.
Getting clarity on core values and prioritizing our lives around those values is the work of springtime in my opinion. It's a reflective process done both alone with God and with others. It cultivates and prepares the soil of our hearts. It's just good soul care.
Sow righteousness for yourselves,
reap the fruit of unfailing love,
and break up your unplowed ground;
for it is time to seek the Lord,
until he comes
and showers his righteousness on you.
- Hosea 10:12
Once we do the deeper work of clarifying our needs and values, we have a much better chance of leaning into God's ultimate plan for our lives and into the opportunities He's giving us.
Are you ready to take the next step toward clarity? Download my free values clarification resource here
Want to gain more personal clarity? Take the full Needs and Values assessment here
Want to take an even deeper dive? Take the full assessment and book a coaching call with me to gain further clarity
Here's to greater clarity!
-Tim
This is one of my favorite times of the year. It's a time when things dormant and seemingly lifeless spring up. The plants and flowers were there all along, right beneath the surface. But now, in the fullness of time, their beauty is revealed.
Needs and Values are kind of like that. They're easy to ignore as we speed through life, giving little thought to what lies underneath - those core desires and motivations. Yet if ignored for too long, we lose sight of the WHY.
What’s really important, and why? What am I willing to invest in order to answer that question with confidence and clarity?
Doing the deeper work of discovering our core needs values is one of the first steps toward living with purpose and intentionality. Self-discovery and discernment take some hard work. But the investment is well worth it.
Getting clarity on core values and prioritizing our lives around those values is the work of springtime in my opinion. This is a reflective process done both alone with God and with others. It cultivates and prepares the soil of our hearts. It's just good soul care.
Sow righteousness for yourselves,
reap the fruit of unfailing love,
and break up your unplowed ground;
for it is time to seek the Lord,
until he comes
and showers his righteousness on you.
- Hosea 10:12
Once we do the deeper work of clarifying our needs and values, we have a much better chance of leaning into God's ultimate plan for our lives and into the opportunities He's giving us.
Are you ready to take the next step toward clarity? Download my free values clarification resource here
Want to take a deeper dive? Take the full assessment and book a coaching call with me to gain further clarity
Here's to greater clarity!
- Tim
Transitions are naturally times and seasons of turmoil. I’m convinced the tragedy in transition comes when we fail to pause long enough to process the change...not just the change happening outwardly, but more importantly the change taking place within us. Effectively managing the turmoil of transitions is no easy process, but with some patience and intentionality it can be done. Here’s some strategies for managing the turmoil of transition...
My most recent transition to full time coaching has held a fair amount of risk and uncertainty. Combine that with a strong desire to get it right the first time...well, you can see where I’m going.
If you have perfectionist tendencies coupled with being in a season of risk and uncertainty, here’s 2 tips to get you unstuck and moving forward...
Let’s admit it…some of us are tool junkies, always looking for the latest and greatest app or resource which could be that silver bullet to help propel our lives and work further, faster.
Sometimes it feels like an endless search for something that doesn’t exist. While I’m all for equipping oneself with new and useful tools (key word: useful), the reality is tools are only part of the equation.
Having the courage to return to that difficult conversation with a family member or teammate. Returning to the field. Going back home. A potential career shift. A chaotic transition. Sometimes, just staying in the room takes all the determination we can muster. Each decision comes down to this: What does it look like to stay in the game?
