A common tension in transition revolves around the question of how to sustain a healthy balance between being and doing. While transition requires leaning into both, we often wrestle with finding a healthy cadence.
I’ve been reflecting on my relationship with uncertainty, especially in seasons when there has been little to no sense of direction. Have you ever been in one of those slumps? Are you in the middle of one currently? How are you framing your view of the unknown? Through the lens of curiosity or resistance?
Have you ever felt blindsided by change? Maybe, like Liam, you were passed over for a promotion you felt promised. Or perhaps, like his wife Teresa, you wonder if staying put is the best move. Transitions can be confusing and leave us feeling stuck. But what if I told you this could be a season of exciting possibilities?
Transitions are pivotal times to discover and embrace our true identities and live with greater purpose and fulfillment, even through the uncertainty and ambiguity of change. Get practical strategies and insights to help you respond to identity confusion in our ever-changing lives.
When we dig wells of trust through the seasons - with God and with others - we are storing up a reliable source of relational capital, namely trust. Relational trust is something valuable we can draw from when navigating tough transitions marked by uncertainty.
I’ve been reflecting on my relationship with uncertainty, especially in seasons when there has been little to no sense of direction. Have you ever been in one of those slumps? Are you in the middle of one currently? How are you framing your view of the unknown? Through the lens of curiosity or resistance?
Transitions bring disruption and upheaval. In transition seasons we may come to a point where we no longer recognize our lives. But what if we could build some intentionality into the process of change? How could it help us stay more grounded, hopeful, and purposeful through the uncertainty of it all?
“When can I meet with God?” was a cry of the sons of Korah in Psalm 42. I can guarantee the songwriter wasn’t looking at his watch when he penned those words. He was reflecting on the condition of his soul. How do you sustain the practice of meeting with God while trying to reach both personal and professional goals? The balance between your hopes and dreams and meeting with God is a delicate one. But one thing we know for sure: meeting with God is the source fruitful undertaking. Our life purpose is grounded in relationship. A healthy identity is rooted in it. Yet the struggle is very real.
My personal experience living and working cross-culturally has highlighted this…
My early years in Central Asia were heavy on the objective side. I thought I was fulfilling my purpose by doing things for God. My sense of identity was connected mostly to the work I was doing. My identity somewhat unraveled when I transitioned because the “assignment” was terminated. Or so I thought. Shortly after the transition, I searched for ways to replace the pursuit of purpose through other areas of focus, such as coaching, pastoring, podcasting, and writing. A perceived loss of identity motivated me to pursue and regain a “for God” posture instead of a “with God” posture, something author Skye Jethani talks about in his book With (a good read by the way). I slowly realized this approach is not sustainable.
It doesn’t lead to the abundant life God has saved me for.
Purposeful work is part of our callings, but certainly not the foundation. The bedrock is relationship, embodied in this cry:
“My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?” - Psalms
And so my prayer has become, “Lord may I prioritize meeting with You over and above my assignment for You.”
Skye continues to make his point…
“He (the Apostle Paul) understood that his calling (to be a messenger to the Gentiles) was not the same as his treasure (to be united with Christ). His communion with Christ rooted and preceded his work for him.”
– With, Reimagining the Way you Relate to God, Skye Jethani
Transitions have a way of messing with our sense of identity, purpose and calling. At the same time transition can be a wonderful opportunity to re-orient ourselves to what really matters. Working with a transitions coach can help you process and prioritize toward a successful transition.
Let’s have a conversation!
I leave you with The Message version of Psalm 42:1-3 and some reflection questions…
“A white-tailed deer drinks from the creek; I want to drink God, deep draughts of God. I’m thirsty for God-alive. I wonder, “Will I ever make it— arrive and drink in God’s presence?” I’m on a diet of tears— tears for breakfast, tears for supper. All day long people knock at my door, Pestering, “Where is this God of yours?””
- Psalms 42:1-3
For reflection:
Think of a time when you were extremely parched. How desperate did you feel for a drink? Have you ever felt that desperate for God? Describe the intense longing. Isaac was a well digger (Genesis 26). His survival depended on it wherever he went. If one dried up he dug another.
What are some wells which have dried up for you, and why?
How and where could you dig some new wells in this season of transition…wells that lend themselves to meeting with God?
A good practice in volatile and potentially dangerous situations, such as wilderness survival, is to maintain a posture of alertness by consistently doing these three things…
Look up. What’s above you that could be threatening your safety?
Look down. Where are your feet stepping? Is it safe?
Look around. Keep your head on a swivel. Take notice of things around, behind and in front of you.
David was no stranger to caves. But this cave was more than a place of shelter for a tired shepherd boy. It was a place where he would learn resilience- how to relate to God in times of deep loss and confusion. How to steady his feet on God's promises and forge ahead with hope. Here are some ways we can learn, like David, to practice soul-care in the cave:
Therefore, everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. – Matthew 7:24-25
Shifting sand. So much of life feels like that. Even now I’m sitting here waiting for a flight which has already been delayed 6 hours and will likely cause me to miss the next connection. Plans gone awry. Hopes left unfulfilled. Dreams delayed. Unwelcomed news.
Thankfully, there is a way to be grounded even while the rain pours and the earth beneath us shifts: Hearing the words of Christ and putting them into practice. The combination of hearing and doing is essential to success as it relates to what we build and how we weather the storms of life. Every person builds something in this life. But the lasting quality of what is constructed depends on how well we listen and how consistently we put those words into practice. This is what distinguishes wisdom from folly. I wonder…Am I being wise or foolish?
It's been said, "God gave us two ears and one mouth, so we ought to listen twice as much as we speak." I like the way Jesus puts it, "He who has ears, let him hear." - Matthew 13:9
Attentive hearing has a way of preventing unfortunate situations which our hurried actions can create. We stop to hear (really hear) those around us. We pause to hear God. This invites wisdom into our actions, infuses meaning into the doing. Hearing well engages the heart ahead of the hands, which is essential to effective service. Hearing enables us to serve out of depth of conviction and personal character, bringing life and hope to those around us.
All these benefits to the practice of hearing, and I wonder why I’m so slow to learn. I guess there’s no better time like a flight delay to practice some hearing in the midst of waiting. Hopefully, I can become a little more wise in the process!
