A common tension in transition revolves around the question of how to sustain a healthy balance between being and doing. While transition requires leaning into both, we often wrestle with finding a healthy cadence.
I’ve been reflecting on my relationship with uncertainty, especially in seasons when there has been little to no sense of direction. Have you ever been in one of those slumps? Are you in the middle of one currently? How are you framing your view of the unknown? Through the lens of curiosity or resistance?
Have you ever felt blindsided by change? Maybe, like Liam, you were passed over for a promotion you felt promised. Or perhaps, like his wife Teresa, you wonder if staying put is the best move. Transitions can be confusing and leave us feeling stuck. But what if I told you this could be a season of exciting possibilities?
Transitions are pivotal times to discover and embrace our true identities and live with greater purpose and fulfillment, even through the uncertainty and ambiguity of change. Get practical strategies and insights to help you respond to identity confusion in our ever-changing lives.
When we dig wells of trust through the seasons - with God and with others - we are storing up a reliable source of relational capital, namely trust. Relational trust is something valuable we can draw from when navigating tough transitions marked by uncertainty.
Transitions bring disruption and upheaval. In transition seasons we may come to a point where we no longer recognize our lives. But what if we could build some intentionality into the process of change? How could it help us stay more grounded, hopeful, and purposeful through the uncertainty of it all?
“When can I meet with God?” was a cry of the sons of Korah in Psalm 42. I can guarantee the songwriter wasn’t looking at his watch when he penned those words. He was reflecting on the condition of his soul. How do you sustain the practice of meeting with God while trying to reach both personal and professional goals? The balance between your hopes and dreams and meeting with God is a delicate one. But one thing we know for sure: meeting with God is the source fruitful undertaking. Our life purpose is grounded in relationship. A healthy identity is rooted in it. Yet the struggle is very real.
My personal experience living and working cross-culturally has highlighted this…
My early years in Central Asia were heavy on the objective side. I thought I was fulfilling my purpose by doing things for God. My sense of identity was connected mostly to the work I was doing. My identity somewhat unraveled when I transitioned because the “assignment” was terminated. Or so I thought. Shortly after the transition, I searched for ways to replace the pursuit of purpose through other areas of focus, such as coaching, pastoring, podcasting, and writing. A perceived loss of identity motivated me to pursue and regain a “for God” posture instead of a “with God” posture, something author Skye Jethani talks about in his book With (a good read by the way). I slowly realized this approach is not sustainable.
It doesn’t lead to the abundant life God has saved me for.
Purposeful work is part of our callings, but certainly not the foundation. The bedrock is relationship, embodied in this cry:
“My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?” - Psalms
And so my prayer has become, “Lord may I prioritize meeting with You over and above my assignment for You.”
Skye continues to make his point…
“He (the Apostle Paul) understood that his calling (to be a messenger to the Gentiles) was not the same as his treasure (to be united with Christ). His communion with Christ rooted and preceded his work for him.”
– With, Reimagining the Way you Relate to God, Skye Jethani
Transitions have a way of messing with our sense of identity, purpose and calling. At the same time transition can be a wonderful opportunity to re-orient ourselves to what really matters. Working with a transitions coach can help you process and prioritize toward a successful transition.
Let’s have a conversation!
I leave you with The Message version of Psalm 42:1-3 and some reflection questions…
“A white-tailed deer drinks from the creek; I want to drink God, deep draughts of God. I’m thirsty for God-alive. I wonder, “Will I ever make it— arrive and drink in God’s presence?” I’m on a diet of tears— tears for breakfast, tears for supper. All day long people knock at my door, Pestering, “Where is this God of yours?””
- Psalms 42:1-3
For reflection:
Think of a time when you were extremely parched. How desperate did you feel for a drink? Have you ever felt that desperate for God? Describe the intense longing. Isaac was a well digger (Genesis 26). His survival depended on it wherever he went. If one dried up he dug another.
What are some wells which have dried up for you, and why?
How and where could you dig some new wells in this season of transition…wells that lend themselves to meeting with God?
In our current context there’s a growing need for resilient workers, leaders and organizations. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from difficulty. It requires openness to change. But here’s the issue: We don’t change well on our own.
We may even resist change, digging in our heels and grasping for old certainties that don’t exist any longer. The road of resistance keeps us stuck. But forging a path of resilience can set us free. What does this path look like?
DISRUPTION
In seasons of transition and uncertainty, we need voices on the outside to disrupt our thinking by reflecting our thoughts back to us, challenging us to consider why we think and perceive things the way we do. This is the path of resilience: disruption…reflection….learning….action. And that’s hard to do in isolation, as most of us can testify. Been there. Done that.
My wife knows I’m pretty darn ticklish, and she’ll take advantage of that at times. It doesn’t take much effort on her part to make me squirm. But even as a ticklish individual, I can’t tickle myself. Leadership coach Marcia Reynolds states, “For the same reason we can’t tickle ourselves, our brains resist self- imposed testing of thoughts and reactions.” The catalyst for transformation requires engaging a process of disruption from the outside.
In this transition season, do you find yourself welcoming the disruption, or resisting it?
REFLECTION AND LEARNING
What could opening ourselves up to this process look like? As we allow more space and time to reflect and process the change, we do well to invite outside “disrupters” into our lives who bring the gift of presence, active listening and powerful questioning. When we have the courage to invite disruption, the stories we tell ourselves - our personal narratives – can change. In the process, we begin to learn and grow outside our perceived limits, moving all the while toward greater resilience.
What’s been your personal narrative through this transition season, the story you’ve been telling yourself? Has it been one of resistance or openness? Is it leading to resilience or feelings of stuckness? These personal narratives impact our emotional and spiritual well-being, our relationships and organizational cultures. Engaging a process of disruption, reflection, learning and action lends itself to changing the narrative and creating a culture of personal and professional resilience.
ACTION
The path to resilience…disruption, reflection and learning…combine to create the clarity and momentum necessary for positive Spirit-led action to take place. But the process takes time. The temptation is to leap into action too soon, hoping to avoid the pain and uncertainty by making it to the other side of transition. As a result, the process of learning and growth gets sabotaged. Here are some potential focus areas to consider as you slow down, invite disruption and move toward greater resilience:
Revisiting personal and organizational core values.
Soaking in God’s Word regularly…renewing our minds.
Sorting and sifting ideas and options by engaging in a season of discernment.
Confronting Identity issues and aligning what I do with who I am.
Learning new strategies for consistently showing up and taking action.
Recognizing and removing obstacles to growth and development.
Focus and self-discipline….leading ourselves with greater intentionality.
Prioritizing what matters most and creating strategies to achieve desired outcomes.
Some questions to consider…
Which of the above focus areas could take on a community or organizational approach? Which ones are more personal, individual, and reflective?
Who could you invite into your personal journey toward greater agility as you consider these focus areas? A coach, counselor, spiritual director, mentor, trusted friend?
What path are you on? The one of resilience or resistance?
If you’re finding yourself resisting rather than engaging the process of resilience, I’d love to explore some options with you. Let’s have a conversation. Schedule a discovery call with me or simply send me an email.
I hope to see you on the path of resilience!
Tim
My most recent transition to full time coaching has held a fair amount of risk and uncertainty. Combine that with a strong desire to get it right the first time...well, you can see where I’m going.
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